As parents, we often wonder if we are raising our children
the “best” way. I know many a mom that feels like she is failing just because
she is not perfect. Luckily, kids are pretty forgiving, and our imperfect
moments can be overshadowed by happy memories.
To help parents create more
positive memories,
I thought I’d write about how our words can improve our
child’s self-esteem.
How do you talk to
your kids?
What do you say to
them?
In day-to-day speech, we should strive to speak in an
encouraging tone as much as possible to help our child’s self-esteem grow. This means paying attention to their positive actions. We
don’t need to overinflate our speech, just honestly acknowledge the good
behaviors we see. Kids know when we are stretching the truth, so honesty is the
best road to take.
For example:
“Wow, you knew exactly where to find your baseball. What a
smart boy!”
“Thank you for giving your sister a turn with your train
set. What a kind brother you are.”
“You figured out how to swing all by yourself. You are so
clever. Way to persevere.”
Speaking more often in this way compliments children on their actions and their being, which enhances
self-esteem. It might be a little weird at first to talk this way, but as you
look for opportunities to congratulate their actions, you’ll find them.
Kids
usually make more right choices during the day than wrong choices.
(I’m not
saying you can never discipline your child. That’s our responsibility as
parents, but that’s a topic for another day.)
Regular compliments such as “You’re so beautiful” are important
for children to hear. But when we compliment our kids on their being (“You are
so handsome”) AND on their good
behavior (“What a healthy eater! You ate your carrots!”) we are speaking in the
best of both worlds.
Challenge yourself to compliment your child's behavior more often. See
what kind of a difference it makes.
Labels: Emotional Health, Parenting
